Womanhood Jokes

Womanhood
Brilliant Woman Author Unknown


Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.




One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.


My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.


The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.


The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.


Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.


I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on more...

Geography of Womanhood
From 13 to 18 a woman is like Africa
- virgin and unexplored
From 19 to 35 she is like Asia - hot and exotic
From 36 to 45 she is like America
- fully explored and free with her resources
From 46 to 55 she is like Europe
- exhausted, but still has points of interest
From 56 on she is like Austrailia
- everyone knows it's down there but no one gives a damn

Age and Womanhood
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1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there, but who gives a damn.
Age and Manhood
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1. Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly
2. Between 27 and 46: Try weekly
3. Over 47: Try weakly
Perfect Marriage
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Adam & Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about how well his Mother cooked.