Wonder Jokes / Recent Jokes
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too more...
It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their wedding night with the young man's parents.
In the morning the mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast, went to the bottom of the stairs and called for them to come down for breakfast. After a long wait the family ate without the newlyweds. The mother said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
The grooms young brother said, "Mommy, I think -- "
"Oh shut up, I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the younger brother.
At lunch time the mother again prepared a wonderful meal and again called the young couple to eat. After another long wait the family proceeded to eat, and after the meal was completed the mother once again said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?" Once again the younger brother started to speak, but was interrupted by the more...
Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
Ever wonder why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
* Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.* Dogs shed, cats shred.* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?* Women and cats will do as they please...men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.* In order to keep a more...
At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer. Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything." When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim." Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round. When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $100, 000?" Tiger insists he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap. But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents and says, "OK, it's your money... when do you want to play?" Stevie replies, "I'll play on any NIGHT you choose!"