Worker Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck. "This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on," he said.

"I know," the employer said. "But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained."
"Well, I don''t mind an occasional mistake," the worker answered, "but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention."

A worker on a construction site of a high rise building climbed all the way to the top of the building before realizing that he needed a second pair of hands to accomplish the task he had in mind.
Not wanting to climb all the way back down, and also realizing that no one would hear him if he yelled, he signaled to the foreman on the ground.
He pointed first to himself, then his knee, and then the foreman, meaning "I need you."
The foreman waved back and then started acting very strangely.... he unzipped his pants, pulled them down to his ankles, and proceeded to jerk off.
Totally confused and rather alarmed, the worker ran down all fourteen stories of the high rise, staggered over to the foreman and gasped, "What the hell are you doing?
"I got your message," replied the foreman. "I just wanted to let you know that I was coming."

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing a young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.

Annoyed, the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!"

The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible when even an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a more...

hi everyone, got some jokes here for you all....
>Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So
>he spots another worker on the ground
>floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the
>5th floor tries sign language.
>
>He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need",
>then moved his hand back and forth in a
>hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down
>his pants, whips out his chop and
>starts masturbating.
>
>The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground
>floor and says, "What the fuck is your
>problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
>
>The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm
>coming!"

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."

A construction worker walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, "All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!" A sudden silence descends.After a moment he asks "Anyone got a problem with that?" The silence lengthens.He then chugs back another beer and growls, "And all you guys on the other side of the bar are all scum!" Once again, the bar is silent.He looks around belligerently and roars, "Anyone got a problem with that?" A lone man gets up from his stool unsteadily and starts to walk towards the man."You got a problem, buddy?" "Oh no; I'm just on the wrong side of the bar."