Worker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. He spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand-saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chopper and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem? I said I needed a hand saw!"
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

A construction worker on the third floor of a building is in need of a handsaw. He sees another worker on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear him. So, the guy on the third floor attempts to use some signs. He points to his eye, meaning 'I', then to his knee, meaning 'need', then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning 'handsaw'.
Seeing this, the worker on the first floor nods, drops his pants, and starts to masturbate.
The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor screaming, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?!? I was telling you that I need a handsaw?"
The guy on the first floor looks at him and replies, "I knew that. I was just telling you that I was coming!"

Dear Ann Landers: So you like "crazy lawsuits?" In the three years I have been writing the Random Nuts column for Graffiti magazine, I've collected some doozies and am pleased to pass some of the best along to you. Here they are:* After he threatened to sue McDonald's for $5 million, a former research scientist was arrested for extortion. The scientist claimed he ate part of a fried rat tail he found in a bag of Happy Meal french fries, but a grand jury said the tail came from one of his own laboratory rats.* A convict wants $1,000 because the state of New York made him eat "vegetable diet loaf" as a punishment for violating prison rules.* Another prisoner is suing because he says secondhand smoke from other inmates is ruining his health, though he smokes himself.* The all-time Random Nuts champ has to be a convicted Brooklyn burglar who is suing the state for $989 billion because prison guards beat up his jacket, which he wasn't wearing at the time.* In Boston, more...

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw.
He sees one of his collegues on the first floor. He yells down to him, but the man cant hear, so he uses signs.
He points at his eye meaning I, then at his knee meaning need, and then moves his hand back and forth meaning handsaw. The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and starts masturbating.
The man on the third floor gets really angry and runs down to the first floor and yells:
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you bloody dumbass?! I said I need a handsaw!"
The other guy says:
"I knew that, I was just trying to tell you that I'm coming."

Q: What's the difference between a hard worker and a lazy one?
A: None. Both are fired with enthusiasm.

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassinga young girl as she walked by the construction site.She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!"The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible wheneven an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"

A business man aproached to one of his workers and said " I have some good news and some bad news!". The worker replied, "Tell me the good news first"
The business man: Alright then... You have 24 hours to go on the best trip in the world for free and it's for 7 days!
Worker: Wow!!! That is so brilliant. I have no words to thank you. Well what's the bad news?
Business man: Oh! The bad news! Well... I forgot to tell you yesterday...