Worker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order."Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked.The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.""Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "I'll have two regular, two black, and two decaf."

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out, so he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise - out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and - poof - the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" and - poof - he was there.
Then the government worker decided on his third wish; "I don't more...

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war... could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively,"Don't touch me! I'm on long-term disability!"

Santa was recently hired at an office. His first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well his first day on the job, he grabbed a thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
Santa held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take his order.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" Santa asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Oh good!" Santa sighed in relief. "I'll have three regular and three black."

There was once a sheep farmer who required assistance with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. Finally, he hired a French guy. Although he didn't speak much English, he was a very good worker.
After the first day, they had successfully castrated 16 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", when the sheep farmer yelled, "Wait! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious. We call them 'sheep fries'."
Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper and, sure enough, the 'sheep fries' were tasty.
The following day, they castrated 18 sheep. That evening, they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'.
On the third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was. She replied, "It's the strangest thing. I told him since there weren't very many more...

A terrible flood hit a small town, sending the rescue units out. It just so happened that a devoutley religioius woman lived in this town when the flood hit, and she sat down to wait for God to save her. When the first rescue boat came in the worker called for her to come out but she just shook her head and said "Thank you, but my God will save me." Shaking his head the rescue worker moved on. The waters rose and she climbed to the second story of her home to wait for God. A second boat came by and the worker called out "Listen lady we've got to get you out of here!" Once again she thanked him profusely and said "My God will save me." The waters rose a third time forceing her to her roof. The water was just closing around her ankels when a third boat came by. "Lady, I'm the last boat out if you don't come now you're going to die." She just smiled "My God will save me" she said quietly. Frustrated the worker moved on. The waters rose more...

A man from the Welfare department was interviewing a lady who had requested assistance and he was reviewing her form. He noted that she stated that she had three sons, but only has one name listed, "Leroy". "Yes", she replied, "All three sons are named Leroy."
"Why would you do that?", inquired the government worker.
"It makes it much easier to get things done.", was her reply. "Leroy, time for bath." And they all would get in the bath. "Leroy, time for supper." And they all would come to the table.
Amazed, the government worker then inquired how did she get personal if she wanted to talk with just one of her sons.
"Oh that's easy", she replied. "I just call them by their last name."