Worker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern Californias apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, "How much are yer apples?" "All you can pick for one dollar," said the rancher. "Okay," said the Pennsylvanian. "Ill take two dollars worth."

"The economy is weird." Remarked one worker to another. "My bank failed before the toaster did."

The social worker asked the bartender "What's the difference between your job and mine?" The bartender replied: "I only had to go to bartender school for 6 weeks and I learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours to have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to school for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session after session using technique after technique, and you still may never hear them!!!

It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?," asks the Post Office worker. "33," says the man. "Well, have a good day," says the worker. "Thank you," replied the man. To get home, the man has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady walks up and waits soon after he arrives. The man says to the old lady, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday," says the old lady. "I'm..." "No don't tell me," interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way of telling how old somebody is." "Oh yeah? What's that then," asks the man. "If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell exactly how many years old you are," says the old lady. "I don't believe it." "Well let me prove more...

There were two workers digging in a ditch. Their supervisor was sitting against a brick wall reading a book.
After a while, one worker said to the other "How come we're over here working in the hot sun while he's over there reading a book?"
The other guy replied, "I don't know. Why don't you go ask him?"
So the first guy walked over to where the supervisor was sitting. The supervisor looked up and then went back to reading his book.
Finally the worker asked him, "How come you're over here reading, while we're digging in the sun?"
The supervisor looked at him for a moment and answered, "Intelligence." Then he continued reading.
After thinking about this for a minute, the worker asked, "How's that?"
The supervisor replied, "Let me show you." He held out his hand and said, "now, hit my hand as hard as you can."
The worker put down his shovel and proceeded to hit the supervisor's more...

There was this construction worker, Brian, on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. Brian needed a hand saw but was too lazy to go down and get it himself. So he tried to call to his fellow worker, Pat, on the ground to get it for him, but Pat could not hear a word he said. So Brian started to give a sign to Pat so that Pat could understand him.
So first Brian pointed to his eyes (meaning "I"), then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, Pat started shaking his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off.
Brian got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at Pat, "You idiot, I was trying to say,' I need a hand saw!'"
Pat replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I'm coming.. . "

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassinga young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking. Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!"The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible wheneven an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"