Worse Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is worse than an alligator with toothache? A centipede with athletes foot!
there once was a sales clerk named John, while at work his boss asked him to make a dilivery. Hey having the othmost respect for his boss accepted the job and set of
while driving about half way there his car tire blew out. having no spare he walked to the nearest auto shop and bought one. once he returned he discovered that his car was gone. onlyn the flat tire was left he thought to himself and said (things cant get any worse) he started walkinng. while walking a man in a car stopped and offered him a ride. he gleefully accepted.
while driving the car skidded off the road and crashed, the gas from the tank was leaking and was ignighted by a spark and it blew up tearing off most of Johns clothes, and killing the driver. walking alone on this lonel road, with only peices of clothes and his wallet, he thought to himself (things cant get any worse) then it started to rain and he said once again (things cant get any worse) then he was struck by a bolt of lightening. after more...
Ben had received a parrot for his birthday. It was full grown and, although very beautiful, had a nasty attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every other word that came out of the parrot's mouth was an expletive and those that weren't were, to put it mildly, downright rude.
Ben tried diligently to change the bird's attitude. He always used polite words, played soft music, did anything he could think of, but nothing seemed to work.
He yelled at the bird, but the bird got worse. He shook the bird, but that only made him worse too. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he was able to hear the bird squawking, swearing, kicking and screaming. Then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Afraid that he had actually caused harm to the parrot, Ben quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Ben's extended arm and said, "I deeply apologize if I offended you with my language and my actions and beg more...
My wife and I married for better or worse. She couldn't do better. I couldn't do worse.
Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face -- some even look a little frightened -- and Clinton isn't in the room.
"What's the matter?" he asked
"Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war -- that may go nuclear."
"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?"
"Well, Bill just got hold of some Viagra."
God sends for 3 world leaders and tells them that he is really pissed-off with all the troubles the world gives him and has decided to destroy the planet in 3 days.
Clinton goes back to Washington and tells his people,' I have good news and bad news. The good news is there is a God, the bad news is that we have really goofed up and the world will end in 3 days.'
Jiang Zemin returns to the PRC and tells his nation' I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is there is a God, the worse news is he is going to stop our plan for world domination in 3 days.'
Dr. Mahathir returns to Malaysia with a huge smile and says,' I have good news and better news! The good news is that God thinks I am one of the 3 most vital people in the world. The better news is, the currency crisis will be over in 3 days!