Worst Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What are the worst six years in a blondes life? A: Third Grade.
Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home. "Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old.
"You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothing," said the 60 year old. "When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out! " "Actually," said the eighty year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?", asked the sixty year old.
"No. .. not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all." "Do you have trouble taking a crap?", asked the 70 year old.
"No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6: 30." With great exasperation, the 60 year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at six more...
Canada's worst air disaster: Canada's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Newfoundland. Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
There was 3 old men sitting by a pool talking about old times. One of the men asked the other two what was the worst sound they ever heard.
The first old man said, "Well I was in Africa once and had a herd of wild elephants come in my direction and I had no place to hide."
The second old man said, "I was a pilot in the air force and was flying over the ocean and the engine on my plane was making bad noises like it was going to quit."
The third old man who had asked the question said, "I have the worst one of all. I was seeing this woman and her husband came in on us while we were in the bed together. I jumped up and ran and jumped out the window."
The third old man paused and the other two men asked, "Well, what was the bad sound?"
The third old man replied, "Just a minute. This is hard for me to retell."
After a short pause he said, "Okay, I jumped out the window more...
A local newspaper was having a best and worst of everything competition. One of the categories was "Worst Noise," which elicited some incredible stories. People described noises such as collapsing houses, bones breaking, dogs yelping due to pain, etc. But the winning entry came from a guy who described what happened to him one night when he was sleeping with a woman he met at a bar.
They were making love in her bed, when all of a sudden her husband (who was supposed to be out of town on business) came crashing into the room and caught them in the act.
The guy said, "I couldn't think of what to do, so I jumped out the window in my nakedness. On my way out the window, her husband grabbed me by the balls. He had me hanging out the window by the balls, and the worst noise I've ever heard was him trying to open up his pocketknife with his teeth!"
Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home." Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothing," said the 60 year old. "When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out! ""Actually," said the eighty year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing too?", asked the sixty year old." No. .. not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all." "Do you have trouble taking a crap?", asked the 70 year old." No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6: 30." With great exasperation, the 60 year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a more...
The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.