Worst Jokes / Recent Jokes
John Smith was definitely not the best of golfers. One day he decided to go to a new golf course where no one knew him, just to get away and see if it was possible for him to do better elsewhere.
He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of his usual slices, duff shots, misread putts and bad temper, he was totally discouraged and upset.
Turning to the caddy he said, "I must be the world's worst golfer."
"Not really sir," replied the caddy. "From what I understand there's a guy by the name of John Smith from across town who is the worst player ever!"
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-hour.
Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.
First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they couldnt do anything.
I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.
I got home only to see, my wife was with the gardener.
I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you came here and drank my poisoned drink. .."
Q: What's the worst thing about being a paedophile? A: Having to go to bed so early!
Q: What's the worst thing about washing your cat? A: Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.
My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work.