Worst Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60 year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing happens."
"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't wake up till 7:00."
The bowler kept hurling down balls which just missed the stumps. After vainly flailing at yet another close one, the batsman said to the wicket-keeper,
'Ha! He must be the worst bowler in the county!'
'Hardly,' said the wicket-keeper,' that would be too much of a coincidence!'
A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to take a leak in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms.
He searched in vain for the bathrooms, but he finally found a beautiful fountain with foliage, and since nobody was watching, so he decided to take a leak right there.
When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.
"Miss it?" she said, "You were in it!"
Whats the worst thing youre likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food!
Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her." Hi, Joe", she said. "I haven't seen you in a long time." Joe was puzzled. "Charlie, is that you?" What are you doing dressed up like a woman?" "Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally decided to do something about it. After a number of operations, I am now a woman." Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's breasts, he said, "Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful to have those implants put in." "Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part." Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach. "Oh shit. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I bet that was awful." "Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the more...