Worthless Jokes / Recent Jokes

While out for an afternoon walk, a priest turns the corner and finds Little Johnny with a hammer, smashing the daylights out of a bunch of ants. The kid is saying to himself, "I hate these damn, fucking ants... I hate these damn, fucking ants."
Taken back by the young boy's language, the priest stops and talks to him, telling him that God doesn't make junk. "Tomorrow I will be coming by again," the priest said, "and if you can tell me three things that God created that are worthless, then I will let you continue killing the ants."
The following afternoon, the priest is out for his walk and comes upon Little Johnny smashing ants again. The priest reminds him of the agreement they made, saying the boy agreed not to kill any more ants unless he could name three things that God created that are worthless.
Little Johnny looks up with a devilish smile and says, "I do know three things that are totally worthless. The first is a dick on a priest, more...

My name is Spam.
Spam I Am.
I have some stuff I’d like to sell.
Take a look! It’s really swell!

I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it, Spam I Am.

Spam I Am:
$500 software that really rocks!
Just 20 bucks–still in the box!

You are really full of bunk.
I do not want your bootleg junk!
I do not want your worthless Spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.

Spam I Am:
How about some fast cash?
Fifty Thousand in a flash!!!

How stupid do you think I am?
I won’t join your shady scam.
You are a sucker, you silly gitch.
If it worked, we’d all be rich!
I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.

Spam I Am:
Check out this great idea of mine!
For Web Hosting and Design!

I went to your site; it really sucks!
For this you’re charging lots of bucks?
You could at least learn to more...

Sign in restaurant: IF YOU ARE OVER 80 AND ACCOMPANIED BY YOUR PARENTS, WE WILL CASH YOUR CHECK.

Misprint sign at drugstore: YOU CAN BE SURE OF HAVING YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS FILLED WITH SCARE AND KILL.

Sign on the Los Angeles boundary line: YOU HAVE JUST LEFT THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES. RESUME NATURAL BREATHING.

A sign on a dryer in a coin laundry reads: THIS DRYER IS WORTHLESS. A sign on the next dryer reads; THIS DRYER IS NEXT TO WORTHLESS.

A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help.
Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.
Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction.
The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm more...

A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help. Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders. Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction. The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is more...