Wrapped Jokes / Recent Jokes
For those of you that might not have heard the REAL story of Christmas, enjoy!
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, everyone into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should deliver. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and more...
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
Merry Christmas! (Truth is stranger than fiction)
Roy Collette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette's plotting his revenge--if he can get them out. It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student. He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't like them. So he gave them to Collette. Collette, who called the moleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.
The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them more...
I had been dating this really cool guy for like 2 weeks, and we finally went out.
We saw "the RING" and i was totally freaked, and I had ordered a HUGE pop, and drunk it all.
Anyway, we were really snuggling tight, like our legs were wrapped around each other, and such. Of course, I had to pee bad, but I didnt want to interupt our snuggling, as it might result in, when I got back, not re-snuggling, so I didnt.
At one point, there was this sudden, out of nowhere, loud noise, and it freaked me out, and, as you've probably guessed, I peed.
But, it wouldnt stop. It was really bad.
I was wearing a skirt and so, afer drenching my undies, it trickled down my legs, and since his legs were wrapped around mine, it trickled down his, too...
When he felt it, he jumped up, saw my wet skirt, and yelled, "Did u just pee all over me?" which caused a HUGE disturbance as everyone turned to look at me. He goes, "Well??!!" so I hav to tell him yes and more...
100 facecloths 25 darning needles any kind of keychain with something _way_ too big to fit in pocket or purse bag of potting mix box of legal size hanging file folders bucket of sand cat door cellophane tape and staples dairy for 1991 exquisitely wrapped house-brick framed photo of Richard Nixon (signed "all the best for 73 - Rich") globe hat rack his and hers dishwashing liquid. map of West Brazil mixer (for the non-cooking couple) mobile modern art sculpture (plastic one that resembled pile of poop) nicely wrapped ream of photocopy paper one shoe receipt book salad shooter (this one is a classic :-) silver plated yo-yo (my sister got one of these) spice rack step ladder towel/bathrobe with someone else's name on it. towrope triangular prism paperweight (we got one of these)