Y2k Jokes / Recent Jokes
Microsoft recently announced that the upcoming release 5.0 of Windows NT will be renamed' 'Windows 2000,'' which will presumably be abbreviated Win2K in the press. That got me to thinking about a comparison between Win2K and Y2K...
Win2K - Represents large problem for computers, looming in the near future.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Projected to ship in mid 1999.
Y2K --- Projected to start causing problems in mid 1999.
Win2K - Real effects won't be known until sometime in the year 2000.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Will cost corporations millions in support, upgrades, and time.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Will result in a need to upgrade most hardware.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Entire industry waiting for the product to slip...uh, ship.
Y2K --- Entire world waiting for solutions to ship.
Win2K - Many characterize it as being an evil plot created by programmers.
Y2K --- ditto.
Win2K more...
Y2K turns cars into carriagesSometimes true life is more humorous than the jokes that are passed around and around. The following is an excerpt from an Associated Press article by David Sharp, that appeared in The Ithaca Journal yesterday, October 16, 1999. Y2K turns cars into carriages.
PORTLAND, Maine - State government got its first Y2K surprise months early when owners of 2000 model cars and trucks received titles identifying their new vehicles as "horseless carriages".
Despite millions of dollars spent to ensure state computers are ready for the year 2000, computers in the secretary of state's office got confused over the 2000 model year designation.
As a result, some new vehicle owners or lien holders got titles to "horseless carriages" instead of cars or trucks in April. The case demonstrates the problems that can occur when computers misread the year 2000 as the year 1900, which is what happened in the secretary of state's office.
Since more...
Report submitted by banta singh to his manager after completing his y2k
Verification task. dear sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on
Budget. We have gone through every line of code
In every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data
Files, including backups and historic
Archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to
Report that we have completed the "y-to-k"
Date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs
And all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, februark, march, april, mak, june, julk,
August, september, october, november, december
As well as:
Sundak, mondak, tuesdak, wednesdak thursdak, fridak, saturdak.
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of
This y to k problem has made any sense to
Me. But i understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to more...
Twas the night before Y2K
and all through the house
we all were in hiding,
me, my kids, and my spouse.
The firewood piled
floor to ceiling with care
the cupboards all packed
with non-perishables to spare.
The windows were barred
to protect us from looters
our new generator is safe
`cause it has no computers.
We've bought lots of gold
should the dollar collapse
and run up those credit cards
right to the max
and just in case
the banks should all crash
we closed our account
and spent all the cash
on dried foods and water
for our Y2K stash.
As the clock ticked toward midnight
we knew we'd soon learn
the doomsayers were right
it would all crash and burn.
Stretched out in my chair
with my gun in my lap
I decided to take a pre-Y2K nap.
I fell fast asleep
and then, without warning
I opened my eyes
and it more...
Twas the night before Y2K, and all through the nation
We awaited The Bug, The millennium sensation.
The chips were replaced in computers with care,
In hopes that ol' Bugsy wouldn't stop there.
While some folks could think they were snug in their beds
Others had visions of dread in their heads.
And Ma with her PC, and I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net and kicked back with a snack.
When over the server, there arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates to see what was the matter.
But he was away, so I flew like a flash
Off to my bank to withdraw all my cash.
When what with my wandering eyes should I see?
My good old Mac looked sick to me.
The hack of all hackers was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be The Y2K Bug!
His image downloaded in no time at all,
He whistled and shouted, "Let all systems fall!"
Go Intel! Go Gateway! more...
Ah, the things that drop into my mailbox... A fellow who manages one of the Y2K compliance projects at a major US-based multinational corporation reports the following (lightly edited to protect sources):
Apparently [a large food retail chain in Britain] with highly automated regional distribution centers was starting to receive canned goods with expiration dates running past 2000.
So, at the same time as they were receiving shipments of tinned tomatoes with shelf lives until' 05 (which were being shuffled into storage bins by their automated pallet system), their automated' expired goods' system was scanning the new stuff, thinking they had gone bad 92 years ago, pulling them, and putting them on to lorries which then took them to the dump.
[...] after trashing the' expired' tins, the automated system placed an order to the supplier to replace them.
Apparently some guy at the warehouse noticed this but didn't want to say anything more...
Signs You Took Y2K Too Serious
You didn't find out that nothing happened for a week because you were holed up in your cellar.
You don't have to go to the grocery store for a year.
You invited the local football team over to eat twice this week, and you still have food left!
You have no savings left because you used it to prepare.
You spent the first week of the new year digging up all your valubles.
You went to the bank on Monday and deposited $2000 of one & five dollar bills.
You went ahead and had your water shut off, so you could use your stored bottled water.
You were depressed because nothing happened! !