Yell Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are VERY attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheremones floating around, is just glad to have someone new to talk to. "This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have three people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two people doing 12-hour shifts." The new man is only too happy to help, and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the ocean horizon for any ships. Soon the husband and wife start placing stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper. The new man yells down: "Hey, no screwing!" They look at each other and yell back: "We're not screwing!" A few minutes later, they start to put driftwood into the stone more...

1.Keep your lights blinking for a whole hour.
2.Go really slow on a highway.
3.Smile and wave at everyone that you see at a stoplight.
4.Turn your radio up while playing opera music.
5.When stopping at a stop sign run out of your car and look to see if any cars are coming then yell, "It's all clear!"
6.When coming to a speed bump, get out and say "My car won't make it!" then try to push it over the bump.
7.At every stoplight, run out and check your tires and yell, "Don't worry it's OK!"
8.Take a sponge and a bucket of water and pull over to wash the bugs off the car every time you see one.
9.Fill the back seats with plastic bags, put the windows down, and drive around really fast.
10.Change your licence plate every you stop and yell, "They're after me! Anybody got a screwdriver?"

There were three people climbing a mountain. And then they came upon a genie bottle and rubbed it and out popped a genie. He said,"
I will grant each of you one wish. The first one wished to be superman. And the genie said, "
Jump off the mountain and yell superman. So he jumped and yelled superman and he turned into superman.
The second one said he wanted to be batman. The genie said,"
Jump off the mopuntain and yell batman and you will turn into batman. So he jumped off and became batman.
Then finally the third said he wanted to be Wolverine. So the genie said,"
Jump off the mountain and you will be wolverine."
And then he ran and tripped over a rock and said crap and turned into crap.

A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturantin Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the bestcountry in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says,"Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in frontof the White House in Washington D. C. and yell PresidentClinton is a bastard! and nothing would be done to me." TheCuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. Icould stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing andnothing would be done to me too!"

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say,
"oh geez, better get cracking," and do some gibberish work. Turn it in
a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming, "Andre, Andre, I've got the
secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative.
Use the intregral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left
nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your
answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO
sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the
instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say
to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to more...

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand more...

THINGS TO DO AT A BORING MOVIE:
1. Wear a top hat and make sure you sit in front of kids.
2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
3. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
4. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go, "Ahhh..."
6. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juicy Fruits for your asthma.
7. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
8. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devoius, say, "Watch out!"
9. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
10. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girls bathroom is flooding.
11. Yell out what is going to happen.
12. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink while smiling.
13. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Ha ha ha" and run away.
14. Yell, "Fire" and moon the more...