Yoga Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some quick thinking to get out of the "caught napping jam!"...They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout again! I wasn't sleeping! I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work! I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga? Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem! I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without using my hands.The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot!

A young woman was worried about her stress-related habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick, so her friend advised her to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No,"she replied, "but now I can reach my toenails so I bite them instead.

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. “No, ” she replied, “but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.

My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing yoga to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally.
Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone"
Female
Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card
Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy
I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay
Athletic = No tits
Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication / Frequent Psychiatric Visits
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie / Hippie
Hopeless romantic = Wants a Ring
Friendship first = Former slut
Fun = Annoying
New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places
very goal oriented = She more...