Youth Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed, with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup, my eyes on the table until I wake up. Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"And I'm happy to say as I close my door, my friends are the same, perhaps even more. When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head. When I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through. But now I am old, my slippers are black, I walk to the store and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent, my get up and go has got up and went. But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin, of all the grand places my get up has been. Since I have retired from life's competition, more...

"When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it when you're talking to them." The youth says that he does not see what the pharmacist means by this, so the pharmacist says that he should observe when the next customer comes in and watch how he or she is dealt with. Presently a middle aged woman comes in to the shop and asks for something for a tummy bug. The pharmacist says, "There's a lot of that virus going about, but this pink mixture should sort you out!""Oh thank you very much!" says the middle aged woman and she leaves the shop. So the pharmacist says the youth can serve the next customer while he goes to tea break, "And remember to put some poetry into it" he says. Anyway, the youth waits around and nobody comes in, so he decides to go to the restroom. Just as he's about to nip off, a young teenage girl comes in." Can I help you?" he asks. She replies very embarrassedly that more...

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bubba's trailer house, Bubba asked, "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "This is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Bubba. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying?" asked Bubba.

The lad smiled and replied, "Applied psychology."

A man pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn’t getting enough playing time. Terell Owens’ father later apologized.

Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for.

The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountainof Youth!! Makes you feel like a man of 30."

The second then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?"

The man looks a little taken aback but replies "You probably could, if you took two pills".

Q: How does an older man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money.

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grin when I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden-so I've heard it said- but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed, with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup, my eyes on the table until I wake up. Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself, "Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?" And I'm happy to say as I close my door, my friends are the same, perhaps even more. When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head. When I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through. But now I am old, my slippers are black, I walk to the store and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent, my get up and go has got up and went. But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin, of all the grand places my get up has been. Since I have retired from life's more...