Youth Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ladies and gentlemen of so-called Y2K-compliant generation:

Wear radiation suits.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, radiation suits would be it. Let's face it: the ozone layer is being depleted at a rapid rate, and not even sunscreen can stop all the deadly waves. But the long-term benefits of heavy, lead-laden radiation suits have been proved in nuclear power plants everywhere, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering thoughts. I will dispense this advice...uh,...yeah, right about...now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of other people's youth. You will not understand the power and beauty of your OWN youth until it's faded. But trust me, in 40 years, you'll look back at young people and take great pleasure in asking them, "Help an old lady across the street, will ya?" or "Mind carrying my groceries, sonny?"

You are not as fat as you imagine...you'r probably WAY more...

David Copperfield, magician and Charles Dicken's ripoff, has claimed to have found the Fountain of Youth...on his $300,000 a week resort in the Bahamas. Copperfield says that he has found a spring on his island that has magical properities, including rejuvenating plants that are withered and dying. Who knew that by giving water to plants that were withered and dying would bring them back to life. Take that cactus.
Although, Copperfield has yet to allow any guest sample the water, many are anxious to see if this spring does indeed have magical powers. Perhaps, this is the same magical potion he used to get Claudia Schiffer to fuck him.

One morning, two 80-year-old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other elderly man wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for.
The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of thirty."
The second man then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?"
"You probably could, if you took two pills," replied the first man.

A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South. He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. Afterriding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said,"Well, aren't you going to ask me?" "Ask you what?" replied the trucker." If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth." Don't matter," replied the trucker. "Gonna fuck ya anyway."

One day Nasrudin was walking along a deserted road. Night was
falling as he spied a troop of horsemen coming toward him. His
imagination began to work, and he feared that they might rob him,
or impress him into the army. So strong did this fear become that
he leaped over a wall and found himself in a graveyard. The other
travelers, innocent of any such motive as had been assumed by
Nasrudin, became curious and pursued him.
When they came upon him lying motionaless, one said, "Can we help
you? And, why are you here in this position?"
Nasrudin, realizing his mistake said, "It is more complicated
than you assume. You see, I am here because of you; and you, you
are here because of me."
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EVEN THE INNOCENCE HAVE GUILT
One day he disagreed with the prior of a monastery at which he
was staying. Shortly afterward, a bag of rice was missing. more...