Yum Jokes

Food to leave out for Santa Claus On Christmas Eve, this is what I would
like you to leave out (not all of them but some): Barley sugar sweets for me
to suck on if I start to feel airsick. Also extra strong peppermints to keep me
warm on the frosty nights.
Cookies or biscuits with a glass of lemonade or milk.
Leave a hot jug of cocoa with a sifter of chocolate and cinnamon, and a bowl of
punch in case Santa feels like something stronger.
Chocolates! Yum! Yum!
For the reindeer, leave a bundle of sweet meadow hay, a bunch of reindeer moss
and a crisp red apple. Tah! Santa.

As most young and weak kids are, Little Johnny was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out. He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises. The bully without asking snatched the jar from Little Johnny’s hand and asked, “What’s in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of? ” “Well, they’re smart pills. ” “Smart pills? ” the bully asked. Then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth. “Pweeuuweppblahhh!! ” he reacted. more...