Yuppie Jokes / Recent Jokes
CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake?
YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use
MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use
FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits
REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with furballs
CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm
MALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team
FEMALE: Elegant flickering candles
REALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down
CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype
MALE: Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt
FEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas
REALITY: Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts
CONTROVERSY: Do ya fling or hang tinsel?
YUPPIE: Empower each strand w/self-determining skills
MALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree
FEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand more...
WHICH IS BEST?
CONTROVERSY Should the tree be real or fake?
YUPPIE Live tree, planted after use
MALE Fake tree, discarded after use
FEMALE Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits
REALITY Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur-balls
CONTROVERSY Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
YUPPIE Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm
MALE Bulbs flash logo of football team
FEMALE Elegant flickering candles
REALITY Tree bursts into flames, burns house down
CONTROVERSY Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
YUPPIE Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype
MALE Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt
FEMALE Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas
REALITY Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts
CONTROVERSY Do you fling or hang tinsel?
YUPPIE Empower each strand w/self-determining skills
MALE Six large clumps of tinsel on front of more...
The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.""Sorry John." she replied. "Im not ready to settle down yet. And besides, you cant buy my love, but if the price is right, I might see my way clear to rent you some."
A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks. "That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied. A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him. "Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together."
A Yuppie received a ransom note stating that if he ever hoped to see his wife alive again, he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 the next morning.
The next day, he didn't arrive until almost 12:30. Jumping out from behind some bushes, a masked man yelled at him, "What took you so long? You're over two hours late."
"Give me a break, would you!" whined the Yuppie. "I do have a 27 handicap!"
A yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at ten o? clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn? t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, ? What the hell took you so long? You? re more than two hours late.?
? Hey, give me a break!? whined the yuppie. ? I? m a 27 handicap.?
A Yuppie was standing at the country club bar with a tennis ball stuffed into the pocket of his shorts.
A lil' Yuppette next to him tapped him on the arm and pointed to the bulge and asked, "What's that?"
"Tennis ball." he replied.
"Ohhh... ouch!" the Yuppette responded grimacing. "I know how that must hurt. I've had tennis elbow before myself."