Zhang Jokes

A man named Zhang Xuze, after having his bed repaired and embellished, wanted to show it off. As no one was likely to come into his bedroom to look at it, he hit upon an idea. Pretending to be ill, he kept to his bed so that his in-laws and friends might come over to see him. His brother-in-law, You Yangzi, who had a pair of new stockings knitted, wanted to show it off, too. The day he came over to see Zhang, he purposely tucked up his robe as he sat down and lifted one leg, putting the ankle of it on the knee of the other. Then he inquired: "Well, what's wrong with you?" Zhang Xuzi, looking at him for some time, could not help smiling. "We have the same illness," was the reply.

During the reign of Shizong (1522-1567) of the Ming Dynasty, there lived in Wuxi two good friends named Wang Fu and Zhang Xiang, respectively. Both of them were men of plenty of guts and believed in neither ghosts nor gods. One summer day found them drinking in the glow of the setting sun on the bank of a rivulet. Said Wang: "Yonder on the opposite bank a man was interred yesterday somewhere in the burial-mounds. Dare you cross over and drag the body out of the coffin? " " I can do that under cover of night," replied Zhang. "If so, " said Wang, " I'll stand you an urn of wine brewed in the twelfth moon. I'm going to get it now and wait for you. " Presently the sun disappeared below the horizon and Zhang crossed over to the opposite bank of the rivulet. There, among the burial-mounds he found to his surprise a coffin with its lid already removed. Full of suspicions, he approached the coffin to take a close look when all of a sudden a pair of arms more...

A rich man invited four friends to a banquet to celebrate his birthday. It was already noon-time, but only Zhang, Wang and Li had come; his friend Zhao did not appear, even though they waited a long time. The rich man said anxiously, "Why isn't the one who should have come here?" His friend Zhang, an impetuous person, was very much upset at his words and said to the rich man, "If the one who should have come isn't present, then I am the one who should not have come. All right, good-bye." And with this, he went away in a huff. The rich man then said, even more anxiously, "The one who should not have left has left." These words aroused Wang's suspicion, so he said, "You said the one who should not have left has left. Does that imply that I am the one who should have left? All right, I have to say good-bye, too." The remaining friend, Li, advised the rich man goodheartedly, "You should learn what to say and what not to say; otherwise, you will more...