Zoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

Come on, Fred, Ill take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

These two gay guys are spending the day at the zoo, when they come across this large gorilla with a massive erection.

The first guy says the other guy' 'look at the size of that'' and proceeds to put his hand into the cage to fondle it.

Next thing he knows the gorilla grabs him, pulls him into the cage, and proceeds to have his wicked way with him.

A couple of days later his pal visits him in hospital and he asks' 'are you hurt''.

He quickly replied,' 'Of course I am, he hasn't written, or phoned, or anything!''

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tigers cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up. .." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word' fascinate.'"

Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word' fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons."
The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word' fascinate' in your sentence."

Little more...

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-
foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around
the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next
enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll
go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody
locks the gate at night!"

Three nun's were touring the local zoo one sunny afternoon having a picnic. While wandering around, they entered the monkey house. Unfortunately, one of the nuns got to close to the gorilla cage and he pulled her inside. He savagely beat and raped the nun. It took 4 guards to pull the nun to safety. The nun spent three months in the hospital recovering and then was sent to a convent in England, for six months, to recover emotionally. Amazingly, the same three nuns met up again the next year in the park. The younger of the two asked her if she minded talking about the experience in the zoo. She said, "Of course not". The younger nun asked "Did it hurt?" The sister replied "Of course! He never called and he never wrote."

This is the tale of the Crist family who worked at a zoo. Each year
they claimed to be able to predict the overall mood of the year by
watching the animals. In particular, the gnu's who, if their ears were
forward, predicted a successful, joyous year, but it their ears were
laid back flat, predicted a sorrowful, disastrous year. One year it was
young Mary's turn to "survey" the animals and come up with the
prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she
forgot to check on the gnus. Well, she botched it, predicting a bad
year, when in fact it was quite good. In explanation, the next winter
solstice, the local newspaper ran the following headline:. .. Mary
Crist misses an happy gnu's ear!