Zoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Zookeeper was walking through the zoo one day, checking on all the animals.
When he passed near the Giraffe pen, he noticed a woman standing near the fence
that contained the giraffes.

One of the largest giraffes had walked up to the woman and stood in front of her on
the other side of the fence.

Suddenly, the giraffe reared up and jumped over the fence and raced away through the zoo.

The Zookeeper ran over to the woman. "My God Lady, what happened to the giraffe?"

The woman turned to the Zookeeper and said, "All I did was reach through the bars and tickle his balls."

With that the Zookeeper dropped his own pants around his ankles and said, "Tickle mine, I gotta catch him."

Thanks to' Carol' for this large collection of Yo-Mama Jokes... Enjoy!!

Your momma is so fat when she sits in the bathtub the toilet water raises.
Yo mama so stud she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Your mum's like a bowling ball. Why? You finger her, chuck her down an alley and she comes back for more.
Your mum's so ugly, she has to do trick or treat over the phone.
Your mum's so fat, she wears a vcr as a pager.
Your mum's so ugly, your dad takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Your mum's so fat, she fills the bath and then puts the water in.
Your mum's like a DIY shop, 1p a screw.
Your mum's so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one who got a tan.
Your mum's so ugly, she turned medusa to stone.
Your mum's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Your mum's so old, I told her to act her age and she died.
Your mum's like more...

"What's the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the zookeeper." The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick." This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size."

Once A Teacher With Her Students Went To Visit A Zoo.
When The Teacher Saw The Lion She Told Her Students That The Lion Belonged To The Cat Family.
A Watchman Heard Her And Told Her That The Lion Belonged To The Zoo Not The Cat Family.

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas available. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Paul, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Paul, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright. So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Paul was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla for five hundred bucks? Paul showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Paul announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any more...

A motorist pulls up to the gas pumps and says "fill it up, please". The Attendant notices that the front and back seats of the car are
occupied by penguins.

"Hey Buddy" says the attendant to the driver, "These birds can't be happy like this... they're wild animals, you should take them to a zoo
or something.."

The motorist agrees to do so.

The next day the guy drives into the filling station and once more the attendant sees the penquins installed in the front and back seats, and they are all wearing sunglasses and holding towels...

"What's this?" he says to the driver, "I thought you agreed to take these birds to the zoo?"

The driver says "I did... and they had such a great time that today I'm taking them to the beach."

"Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?" "Whats the matter with you?" asked his father. "Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"