Zookeeper Jokes / Recent Jokes

An unemployed guy got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla's skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.

On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help!"

The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"

One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?

"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

Father and son standing outside the elephant's cage in the Moscow Zoo.

Father tells son, "If we stand around here long enough, one of them will throw some food at us."

Two seniors are standing in front of the Hotel Duluth when they see a penguin walking by. Pat grabs it and asks Mike, "what should I do with him?"

Mike says, "Why don't you take him out to the zoo?"

The next day in front of the Hotel, Mike sees Pat walking with the penguin on a leash. "I thought I told you to take him to the zoo," says Mike.

"I did," says Pat, "and we had such a good time that tonight I think I'll take him to the hockey game!"

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.

"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.

"How do I do that?" he asked.

"Carefully," replied the vet.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and decides to earn some money as a street performer.

Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoos most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires.

He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he more...