"25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers in The Movies..." joke

1. Word processors never display a cursor.2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever o

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