"A whole mess of dumb riddles" joke

What is brown and sticky?
A stick.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
"Unique" up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
"Tame" way.

What do you call a defective boomerang?
A stick.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.

Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the monkey.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.

What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH.

What do you call a deer with no eye?
No ideer.

What do you call bears with no ears?
B.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter-- he can't come to you anyway.

What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take him out for a drag.

When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other?
There are more geese on that side.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

What's yellow and gooey and smells like bananas?
Monkey snot.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
They have big fingers.

Why does Tigger smell bad?
He's always playing with pooh.

What do Billy the Kid and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.

What do you call a missing parrot?
A polygon.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job?
They needed a guy of better caliber.

What do you get when you cross an alligator and a railroad track?
Three pieces of alligator.