"A wise schoolteacher" joke
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts more...
A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door. When the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door.Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question. Again, she slammed the door and more...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows," the groom said. "When you get to me and the part where it asks if I promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking more...
Three men were waiting outside a pub for it to open so they could have drink when a policeman came upto them and asked why they were waiting there. The men told him they were waiting for it to open and he told them that the new owners couldn't open it till they had thought of more...