Schoolteacher Jokes

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.
The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight.
"Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.

The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court, ” he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through a red light’ five hundred times. ”

You!!! Out of the gene pool!!!
LICENSE TO STEAL
Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
IN THE BAG
A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
MADE FOR TV
Guns For Hire, an Arizona company specializing in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. more...

Whats the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver? A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that toffee" and a train says, "Choo, choo."