"Althetic memberships !" joke
A man joins a nudist colony. He pays his dues, gets his membership kit and
key, and enters the compound.
A six-foot blonde walks by, and he gets a hard -on-
Blonde:"Sir, did you just call for me?"
New Man:"No i just got here."
Blonde:"You must be new here. It's rule when i give you hard-on,
implies that you called for me."
The blonde lies down and lets the man screw her. He
gets up, happy and heads into the sauna, sits down, and farts. A huge man comes over
to him.
Huge Man:"Sir, did you call for me?"
New Man:"I just got here."
Huge Man:" You must be new here. It's rule that when you
fart, that you called for me."
The huge man turns him around and sodomizes him.
The new man rushes back to the receptionist.
New Man:"Here's your card and key back. You can keep the $500
membership fee. I'm outa
here.
Receptionist:" But Sir, you only saw a small percentage of
our facility.
New Man:" (Ruedly) " Listen Lady, i'm 45 years old,
only gets a hard-on once a month...........
but i fart 15 times a day."
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...