"Applicable Laws" joke

Lerman's Law of Technology:
Any technical problem can be overcome given
enough time and money.
Corollary:
You are never given enough time or money. Law of the Search:
The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary:
It will not be in the last place you expect to find it. Kaufman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens. First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else. Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references. Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale. Kenny's Law of Auto Repair:
The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location. Second Law of Business Meetings:
If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary -
If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway. The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary:
All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off. Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot. Quile's Consultation Law:
The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services. Loftus' Law:
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is. Lovka's Dilemma:
You never get away, you only get someplace else.