"At His Favorite Bar" joke
Arthur sat brooding at his favorite bar. "Charley," he said to the bartender, "I'm a rat. I've a lovely wife at home and instead of appreciating her, I've been out getting into trouble with another woman.
But a guy can reform. I'm going home right now, Charley, and I'm going to tell her everything, beg her to forgive me and start anew as a model husband."
Thereupon, Arthur paid his tab, went home, told his wife everything and begged her to forgive him so he could start anew as a model husband.
"I'll forgive you on one condition, Arthur," his wife said. "I want to know the name of the woman." But Arthur was too gallant to tell.
"Was it Susan Adams?" she asked.
"I can't tell you, dear," he said.
"I'll bet it was Mrs. Simpson," the wife declared.
"My lips are sealed," said hubby.
"I know," exclaimed the wife, "it's that hussy Mrs. Higgins."
The next day Arthur was seated again at his favorite bar and as he sipped on a vodka Martini, the bartender asked how he'd made out with his good resolution of the night before.
"Not bad," said Arthur. "My wife didn't forgive me, but she gave me three pretty good new leads."
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