"Band of thieves" joke

there were three thieves who used to hang together going out on rampages through the surbubs of harare, one of the thieves decided to become a christian, joining the Mpostori church, this pissed the other two off, as john used to wake up early in the morning and start praying. As they walked through the streets John would pray loud shouting mwari baba ndokumbira what ever he needed. This would wake the people in their houses stopping the thieves from being able to go into the houses. One day his two friends decided among themselves to fix john up, they decided that as john woke at 3am to start praying one of them would get on the roof of the house and talk to john.
John true to form woke that morning at 3 and started his daily ritual on top of his bedroom roof was his friend john was praying extra hard and extra loud so his friend shouted JOHNNIE Ndati Johniie mwana wangu so john said yes baba, his friend said pamusha pano pane mavenge john said baba murikuda ndi ite sei ko enda uno varova said the voice. john said but father its me one against like 4 people. yes but you have your white robe and your shepherds stick. john feeling like the choosen one went outside and beat the hell out of the people who rented the yard space with him.
The next day and the days after that john prayed day and night long and hard turnning away from the life of crime, his friends again went on the roof a week later and did the same thing, john by this time knew ah it had to be him, he was the choosen one to do the work off the father.
so out he went running, no shoes, no robe, no stick out he went to fight the holy war only this time he got beaten to a pulp. John went back into his room and lay on his bed a while later he heard again johnnie johnnie he replied baba, ko zvaita sei said the voice and he said, ah baba ndarowa and the voice said ya wammama. The last we saw of john he out in the pub drinking masese and sinning much better

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