"Beer Warning Labels" joke

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an Idiot.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

WARNING: CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.