"Caught by a local tribe" joke
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"
And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
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gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
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Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.
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There was a German, an Italian and a Newfie on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die...
1. To be shot
2. To be hung
3. To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death
The German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he more...