"Child Care" joke
A Gastonia, N. C., couple were arrested after they left their three children home alone with a black bear. After receiving a tip from a motorist who said they'd seen a bear in the couples' car, officers went to the home of Cynthia and Adam Williams and found the bear at home with their three children, aged 3, 4 and 5.
Cynthia Williams, 22, said she and her 24-year-old husband were holding the bear for a friend who was out of town. "As soon as we found out we couldn't get it permitted, we were going to take it back," she said. "It wasn't vicious to nobody." The bear was removed from the house by animal welfare officers and the children taken into protective care.
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...