"Endurance Swimmer" joke
A man met a gorgeous woman and knew immediately that he wanted to marry her. "But, we don't know anything about each other," she said.
"That doesn't matter," he replied. "We'll learn about each other as we go along."
So, she agreed. They married and went to a beautiful resort for their honeymoon.
One morning, as they were laying by the pool, he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the diving board, and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by three rotations in a jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
"Wow," she said, "That was incredible!"
"I used to be an Olympic diving champion," he explained. "See, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along."
With that, she got up, jumped into the pool, and started swimming laps. After about thirty laps, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely out of breath.
"That was amazing!" he exclaimed. "Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No," she replied, ""I was a hooker in Venice and worked both sides of the canal!"
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
say a word...
he more...