"Exactly 15 minute sermons" joke
The congregation of a certain Presbyterian church took pride in their pastor's brief, to the point sermons.
For years he preached for exactly 15 minutes, briefly prayed, then launched into the final hymn. One Sunday, however, he preached for 45 minutes. He suddenly stopped, reddened a bit, bowed his head and gave the final prayer. When he got home, his wife lit into him.
She asked, "What on earth happened this morning?"
Chagrin all over his face, the preacher explained, "I usually put a cough drop under my tongue just before I begin to speak. When it has dissolved, I know it is time to stop. This morning, I discovered too late that I put my collar button under my tongue."
Not enough votes...