"Facts of Life (and Death)" joke

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could,' I'm afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy.'

' So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?' asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.

At a loss for something to say the father replied,' Piddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Piddles up to heaven.'

Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles' death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said:' Mommy almost died this morning.'

Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted,' How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!'

' Well', mumbled Lucy,' soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting,' Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!' and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have gone, Daddy'.