"Female Elf Applications" joke

National Federation of Uniformed Elves
Main Office, North Pole
Female Elf Employment Application
1. Name ________________
2. Present Address ____________________
3. Age ___ (If under 100, parental permission is required)
4. Height ______ (If over 3 feet 6 inches, please attach waiver
application)
5. Present Occupation ____________ (If politician, forget it!)
6. Hobbies ______________________________
(If boys, boys, boys, do you like "little, little" boys?)
7. Professional Qualifications ______________________________
(Can you cook, sew, clean and other things male chauvinist
elves get off on?)
8. References ______________________________
(No religious references please. They tend to lead us astray.)
9. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for molesting a
reindeer?
Yes ( ) No ( ) (if yes, you need not apply!)
10. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for molesting little
elves?
Yes ( ) No ( ) (If yes, when can you start?)
11. Please list FIVE "personal" references. All must be older
than 10 and still believe in Santa Claus. (Good Luck!)
NFUE Form 69
Dec 1994 (Previous Versions Obsolete)