"George W. Bush's Intelligence Quiz" joke
While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the
Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it
is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows
if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow
me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer
this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,
and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up
and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman
of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons
Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if
you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this
child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get
back to you?"
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other
senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours,
but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms
calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
"Now look here, Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who
is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb ass."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I
know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb ass, It's Tony Blair!"
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
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A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.