"In an elevator..." joke
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream 'that's mine'.
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, 'Did you feel that?'
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, 'It's okay, don't panic, they open again.'
Call out 'group hug', and then enforce it.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Marriage is like a cage: those outside are desperate to get in, and those inside are desperate to get out.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all more...
Why is Wednesday called "Hump Day" when most people get laid on the weekends?
It's perfectly okay to have sex on an empty stomach...especially if it belongs to your partner.