"Lessor Known Viruses That Still Pose A Threat:" joke

ALLEN GINSBURG VIRUS - Seemed to come from nowhere. Extremely virulent, yet ineffectual. Attempts to invade all file systems of worldwide media organizations at once. Generates copious, conflicting press reports via an advanced randomly-parsing syntax generator developed by California hackers. Frequently found to have infiltrated expensive Washington restaurants.
Anita Hill Virus - Lies dormant for ten years.
BARBARA BUSH VIRUS - One of the ugliest viruses we’ve seen in years, but
seems to have a nice disposition and does little damage.
Billy Graham Virus - When you save a file, it prints, “I am saved! ” to the screen.
Chicago Cubs Virus - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it!
COLIN POWELL VIRUS - Makes its presence known, but doesn’t do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS v 1. 0 - Thers sumthin rong wit yur kompueter, butt ewe jsut cant figyour out watt.
Dan Quayle Virus v 2. 0 - Forces your computer to play “PGA TOUR” from 10-00am to 4-00pm six days a week.
GEORGE BUSH (Sr.) VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, ‘Read my docs…. No new files! ’ on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Gray Davis virus - caused computer programs throughout California to require more computer resources (memory, hard disk space, network bandwidth, etc.) than were available, even though the state’s computer resources had increased significantly. The result was monumental havoc and a great outcry by the populace. The Gray Davis virus has not been seen since the appearance of the Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.
Hans Blix virus - is a derivative of the U. N. virus. It tells you it’s going to inspect your computer for viruses, but then it just creates all sorts of text files filled with bureaucratic drivel, all the while displaying messages saying it needs more time. It never finds any viruses. The quickest cure for this virus is the George Bush virus.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS v 1. 0 - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through AOL.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS v 2. 0 - After depleting your bank account, returns to infect you again! Little footprints appear all over your screen, blocking out information. Unlimited shoe styles.
JIMMY SWAGGERT VIRUS - When caught, it begs for your forgiveness and to be released.
JOEY BUTTAFUACO VIRUS - It only enters minor files.
KITTY KELLEY VIRUS - A particularly nasty infection. It locates your personal files, activates your modem and spreads the dirt around to all the BBS’s you usually call. Embarrassing.
LEONA HELMSLEY VIRUS - Deletes files smaller than it is.
Marcia Clark Virus - Asks for more time every time you give a command.
LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS - It turns your hard disk into a 3. 5 inch floppy... then discards it through Windows.
LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS #2 - Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS v 1. 0 - Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS v 2. 0 - Plays patriotic audio clips while it shreds your files.
ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS - Claims that if you don’t send it a million dollars, it’s programmer will take it back.
RODNEY KING VIRUS - Just sits there, but when it is detected you’d swear the virus scanner was demolishing your entire system.
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS v 1. 0- It puts your hard drive to sleep. If detected, it claims it doesn’t remember being there.
Ronald Reagan Virus v 2. 0 - Saves your data, but forgets where it’s stored.
ROSANNE BARR VIRUS - Plays the National Anthem at boot-up. Even worse with a sound card.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS v 1. 0 - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears, but with less effect.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS v 2. 0 - Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS v 3. 0 - After several years, the damage caused by this little virus is still unclear. It often displays impressive graphics which have little relevance to the users interests or needs.
SUPREME COURT VIRUS - It allows your system to abort files, with major restrictions.
THE PRISON VIRUS - It locks up your system.
TIP O’NEIL VIRUS - It sits in the background, consuming bytes until it’s too fat to exit.
Tom Daschle virus - blocks your computer from doing anything right.
Uday (aka Odai) and Qusay (aka Qusai) viruses - Were mutations of the Saddam Hussein virus. Both of these viruses destroyed files, but the Uday virus also displayed pornographic images. Both of these viruses were completely eliminated by the spread of the George W. Bush virus.
Warren Commission Virus - Won’t allow you to open your files for 75 years.
WATERGATE VIRUS - Erases 18 minutes off your tape backup.
WILLIAM KENNEDY SMITH VIRUS - It strips your files, manipulates your data and denies anything ever happened; and gets away with it