"MODERN LOVE LETTER" joke

Dearest girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in
love with you since Tuesday the 17th of August 1999
with reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of august 1999 at 15. 00 hours.
I would like to present myself as a prospective
lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a
period of 3 months and depending on the compatibility
would be permanent. Of course upon completion of
probation, there will be continuous on the
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later
based on your performance, I might take up the larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad minded
enough to be taken care of on your expenses account. I
request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving the letter-failing which, this offer would
be cancelled without further notice and I shall be
considering someone else. I would be happy if you
could forward this letter to your sister if you do not
wish to take up the offer.
Thanking you in anticipation
Yours sincerely
(BOY)

MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER

Dear boy:
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am
pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your
proposal for romance. However you should be informed
that there are certain conditions of
acceptance-promotional prospects are to my
satisfaction. However please enlighten me as to your
retirement benefits. Gradually should be generous. I
also need to be assured that there is satisfaction
security with regard to this commitment. If there is
any chance of retirement on your part, then I should
receive compensation according to union standards. Due
to the nature of my position I‚m sure you will agree
th at an expense account should be arranged for me. I
shall be entering in addition housing and transport
allowances should be in order and nothing less than a
luxury condo and a jag is in order. Please also note
that there should be no moon light restrictions placed
on my self. If you are still interested in the
relationship please reply on an urgent basis as other
prospective lovers have sent indication of interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
Yours perhaps
(GIRL)