Probation Jokes

Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.
The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had a_____." Bubba was stumped - he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM." "Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" "You are really dumb, more...

Dearest Girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 20th of Dec 2006. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 20th of Dec 2006 at 1000 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of six (6) months and depending on compatibility it would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship
training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 15 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be more...

Dearest Girl

I am very happy to inform you that I have feelings for you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 1999. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 1999 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be
shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further more...

Dearest Ms Julie Yeh,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with
you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting
held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present
myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three
months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of
course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job
training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from
lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would
initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance,
I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded
enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving
this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled more...

"Convicted felon Martha Stewart met with her probation officer yesterday. She even had to give a urine sample, in which she tested positive for nutmeg." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Martha Stewart published her recipe for disaster -- mix one part arrogance with two parts incompetence, simmer in the juices and then serve hot in the can." -Jay Leno
"Tough times for Martha Stewart. Yesterday, Martha Stewart reported to her parole officer and had to take a mandatory urine test for cocaine and marijuana. Martha was found to be drug-free and her urine was found to be a lovely yellow saffron." -Conan O'Brien
"Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress." -Craig Kilborn
"Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year." -Jay Leno
"Earlier today, the jury at the Martha Stewart trial reached a verdict. more...