17th Jokes

A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate ship came over the horizon. The captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red shirt." So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle the pirates. Several days later, they spot another pirate ship off the port bow. "Cabin boy," says the captain "get me my red shirt." They again battle the pirates and are victorious. Later when things had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why do you always want your red shirt just prior to battle?" The captain responds, "Well, in case I am inflicted with a wound, I don't want the crew to see my injury and lose spirit." "I see," says the cabin boy. A few days later, they sight 20 pirate in the distance the captain yells out, "Cabin boy, get me my brown pants."

Dearest Girl

I am very happy to inform you that I have feelings for you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 1999. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 1999 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be
shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further more...

Tom drops in on the golf course wanting to play an impromptu round of golf. The golf pro explains that they're pretty busy, but there is a woman about to tee off by herself, and if Tom hurries, he can play with her.
Tom rushes down, and asks the woman if he can join her. Mary introduces herself, and says "Yes." Well Tom and Mary immediately hit it off. They were golfing, talking, laughing, having the time of their lives.
When they got to the 17th tee, Mary invited Tom into the woods for a blow-job. Of course, Tom agreed.
When the game was over, Tom asked Mary if she would like to play again the following week. The two of them started having a regular weekly game, with Mary's special bonus for Tom just off the 17th tee.
One day, after a few months of this, Mary told Tom, "I have something very important to tell you." "What is it?" Tom asked nervously, "Has someone found out about us?"
"Actually," Mary said, more...

Dearest girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in
love with you since Tuesday the 17th of August 1999
with reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of august 1999 at 15. 00 hours.
I would like to present myself as a prospective
lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a
period of 3 months and depending on the compatibility
would be permanent. Of course upon completion of
probation, there will be continuous on the
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later
based on your performance, I might take up the larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad minded
enough to be taken care of on your expenses account. I
request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving the letter-failing which, this offer would
be cancelled more...

On Freds 17th birthday, his Dad said hed take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, "Just one thing, Fred. If youre going to hit anything, make sure its cheap."