"Medical Office Sign" joke
Two doctors opened an office in a small town, and put up a sign reading "Dr. Greene and Dr. Turner, Psychiatry and Proctology".
The town council wasn't happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors".
This was unacceptable too, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." Still no go.
Next they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics". Thumbs down again.
Then came "Manic-depressives and Anal Retentives". Still no good.
How about "Minds and Behinds"? Once more, unacceptable.
Next they tried, "Lost Souls and Ass Holes". Still no go.
They even tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts", "Nuts and Butts", "Freaks and Cheeks" and "Loons and Moons", all of which were also unacceptable.
Nearing their wit's ends, the doctors finally came up with a business slogan they thought might be acceptable to the council, "Dr. Greene and Dr. Turner, Odds and Ends". Approved.
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...