"Microsoft Winders 98 Alabama Edition" joke

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition
of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If
you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.
The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen. It reads Winders 98 with a background picture of the General
Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy
Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My
Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is
called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them
little ole plastic disc thangs.
Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag
and duct tape. Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks.
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a
replacement version.
Translations of some of the commands and terms used in Winders 98
OKats aww-right
cancelhail no
resetaw shoot
yesshore
noNaaaa
findhunt-fer it
go toover yonder
backback yonder
helphep me out here
stopternit off
startcrank it up
settingssittins
programsstuff at does stuff
documentsstuff I done done
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98
tiperiterA word processor
colering booka graphics program
addin mershenecalculator
outhouse paper notepad
jupe-boxCD Player
inner-netMicrosoft Explorer
pichersA graphics viewer
IRSM/S accounting software
IRS2M/S accounting software