"Nate the Snake" joke
One fine day, Nate the Snake was slithering through the forest when he came upon a level on a tree. The lever said "IF YOU PULL THIS LEVER, THE WORLD WILL END". Now, Nate was a curious fellow, but was smart enough to know not to pull the lever. So, he decided to make it his duty to stand by the lever and warn the other animals that came by of the danger, since he knew most of them weren't as smart.
The day wore on, and animal after animal came and went. Each one wanted to pull the lever, but Nate warned them of the danger.
Soon, the day drew to a close, and Nate began slithering toward his home, when an eighteen wheeler sped by, and upset an area of several large boulders that was very close to the tree.
One broke away, and began speeding toward the tree in such a way that it would hit the lever and end the world if it was not stopped. But no large animal was there to help, and Nate knew what he had to do.
Nate curled himself up into a tight little coil in the boulder's path, bracing himself. The boulder struck him and killed him, but avoided the lever and the tree, and the world was saved.
This story just goes to show you - Better Nate than lever.
An eager, but less than bright, young entrepreneur decides to
go into the painting business. So he wanders into the rich part
of town, paint brush in hand, and knocks at the door of a
large house.
"Good day, sir. I was wondering if you had any painting more...
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen.
St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one more...
An Attorney was riding home in his limo and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.
His driver went to the two men and asked, sirs why are you eating grass? The first man replied, I have no money and must more...
A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...
MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a more...