"Never Tick Off a Nurse" joke

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just
like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have
anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him, but
finally even she had had enough. She came into his room and
announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down,
crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't
use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled
over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the
thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you
stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under
his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's
going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever
seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a Carnation."