"One Thing" joke
A Russian, American, and Pollock are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. Each of them agrees to take one item as they have to continue through the desert on foot.
The Russian and Pollock ask the American what he is going to take.
He said, "the water in case I get thirsty."
They said that's cool.
The American and Pollock ask the Russian what he is going to take.
He said, "the food in case I get hungry."
They said that's cool.
The American and the Russian ask the Pollock what he is going to take.
He said, "the car door in case I get hot all I have to do is roll down the window."
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Quasimodo, the bell-ringer for the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, goes to the cardinal. "Cardinal, I'm getting pretty old and I'd like to retire, and live the rest of my life peacefully." The cardinal says, "That's fine Quasi, we'll just let the town crier know so more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending more...