"Packet of Crisps and a pint of Lager" joke
A man walks into a bar and asks the Barman for a pint a lager and a packet of crisps, when the barman served him the man drunks the pint of larger and placies the packet of crisps on his head turns around and walked out of the pub. The same thing happened the following two days. On the third day the barman thought ill catch him out, so in comes the man orders a pint of lager and a packet of crisps, The barman said sorry mate i can serve you the drink but i cant give you any crisps as we have run out! so the man said ok then ill have a cornish pasty instead. He drinks the lager and puts the cornish pasty on his head and turns around and starts to walk out. Just as he gets to the door the barman says why did you put that cornish pasty on your head! The man replies because you've run out of crisps.
These two crisps were crossing a road, a car stopped and said would you like a lift, the crisps said no thanks were walkers.
Two crisps are walking down the road when a car pulls up alongside and the driver leans out and says "Do you fancy a lift?". The crisps reply, "No thanks we're Walkers".